Coaching for Confidence

An excerpt from the Coaching for Calm and Confidence™ Program

Understanding confidence allows us to create and nurture a confident presence.

A confident presence conveys two things: 1. a sense of assurance in a purpose, and 2. focused attention outward rather than on the self. A confident presence conveys to others a feeling of trust. Others feel comfortable relying on a confident person.

For a better understanding of confidence, consider self-doubt and self-consciousness as opposites of confidence. Self-doubt and self-consciousness provide a landscape against which confidence stands out. The focus of attention is not on the self in a person with a confident presence. In addition, a person with a confident presence certainly is open to other perspectives, but they do not waffle and are not chameleons. Confidence is maximized when there is truth, not just opinion, inherent in what the confident person stands for.

Confidence is also different from arrogance or self-importance. Arrogance is an exaggerated sense of self-importance—again the focus of attention is back on the self in the case of arrogance. Arrogance contributes to a lack of openness to other perspectives. When we maintain a perspective of arrogance we essentially separate ourselves from others. So guess what gets conveyed to others? Distance gets conveyed. Arrogance also leads to anger, anxiety, or both when the stakes the arrogant person have claimed are challenged or threatened. We don’t want this.